


Calculated Damage

by sassycatpants



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Pokemon
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassycatpants/pseuds/sassycatpants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He just wanted to save Zack and save himself, but somewhere along the way he became they and they became the world. But he's still tangled up in green and confused identities;  he can't remember if he was ever anything different or if what he remembers are someone else's life. Has he ever been human?</p>
<p><em>{Cloud Strife. CloudCloudCloudCloudCloudCloud— </em>The voices are screaming for <em>Cloud Strife</em> and he screams back.<br/><em>Am I Cloud?}</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I intended to write and post a Trainer!Cloud thing, and work on this one on the side. However, when I started writing my hands and muses had other ideas, sooo. I intend for this to at least slightly follow canon, so far as Original Game goes? Where and how it diverges is not entirely set in stone and I'm honestly not sure where I'm going with this half the time.
> 
> I warn for graphic violence since I do intend to have this be at least a bit darker in tone than what I usaully write, but I'm also faairly bad at writing violence so I may change that later if I find I can't write it after all and push the harder bits off screen. We'll see. Raitings subject to change as story goes on tho.
> 
> Should probably also warn that this is probably going to take forever between updates at least 60% of the time. >_> Most of my writing focus right now is on Cloud Dragons because that's fairly easy to write and I'm easily distracted by shiny things like that. But I do intend to keep working on this regardless how long it takes me.

Something is wrong; he feels too small, or maybe everything is just too big but it is _wrong_ on so many levels. Everything is green.

Why is everything green?

_{Cloud Strife. CloudCloudCloudCloudCloudCloud—_ The voices are screaming for _Cloud Strife_ and he screams back.

_Am I Cloud?}_

He can’t hold it anymore and slips back under.

———————-

There is blood and something sticking out of his chest. He doesn’t even try to stay awake, grateful for the blackness as it swallows him whole.

———————-

Sometimes he hears Zack, a low murmur of reassurance and quiet strength. But there is a wall of glass between them and it’s not _him_ Zack is speaking to—

_{_ The voices are still screaming _Cloud_ in his ears, and everything is so _green_ and distracting; he’s trapped in a river of it and he can’t tell which way is up. _}_

He hears **Mother** calling, and he’s washed away again.

———————-

He drifts for a long time, in and out of wakefulness; slips in and out of the green and listens to the voices screaming at him for what feels like an eternity.

He doesn’t want to wake anymore, but somehow he knows he has to. The voices stop screaming, and a gentle voice— _Mama? Mama, is that you?_ —pushes him out of the green and back to the world where everything hurts. He doesn’t want to go.

_{It’s time to wake up now, Cloud. They’re escaping, and you’ll be left behind if you don’t.}_

He goes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope at least one person can see where I was going with this.
> 
> ~~That said, no idea when next chaprer will show up. /flees~~

It's the thump of a tiny body against glass that reminds Zack that he and Cloud aren't Hojo's only experiments. The Pikachu slams itself against the glass of its own mako tube again, too weak to break the glass; he knows that even if it hadn't been there just as long as them that it would never be strong enough to break free without help. It keeps trying anyway, and in a split decision he hopes he won't regret later, Zack slams his hand against the release and catches the little mouse as it tumbles out.

It doesn't look any better than Cloud does, torn open and sewed back together like a rag doll over and over; it's missing half an ear and his heart breaks at how fragile it looks as it clings to his arm weakly.

_{He hadn't understood most of Hojo's rambling, scientific babble and theories. Something about personality and memory imprints, memory sharing and if Jenova used these abilities to further assimilate herself into a community. His memories are muddled but he remembers the word Reunion, remembers Hojo speaking about 'Specimen C' (Cloud, CloudCloudCloud--!) and a 'Specimen P' who was to become another C. Success would herald a copy of Specimen S._

_Are you worthy of a number, C?_

_Cloud begged for a number, he remembers. Begged until he couldn't make a sound anymore.}_

When it opens its eyes and he sees Mako-shine blue where there should be soulful brown, Zack knows he can't leave it behind. Pokemon _can't_ get Mako-shine eyes, it's scientific fact. That it _does_ have them means if he leaves Pikachu behind, it'll never make it out of the lab alive.

"Bingo," he whispers quietly when he finds their belongings. It's a relief to find that not only had their Pokemon been brought with them, but they'd been left alone. Hojo had not considered them worthy enough of his experiments, and the balls had been left to gather dust in a storage locker with his sword and their clothes. There's no time for a reunion now but Zack makes a silent promise to tend to both teams as soon as they're safe, and tucks the balls away. Pikachu has long since fallen asleep, settled on one shoulder after refusing the confines of a pokeball (not that he blames it, after being in mako tanks so long, he would refuse too) and Cloud is unconscious on his other shoulder.

He leaves the mansion as the alarms go off, too late for the remaining guards to stop him.

\---------------------

Cloud wakes slowly to the sound of feet crunching through snow and the soft sway of movement.

And then he remembers.

_{The fire and smoke, roaring heat and home burning--Mama! Sephiroth walking away, Mama on fire but she's already succumbed to the smoke so she can't feel the flames licking at her skin--_

_Mama!}_

Cloud struggles against whatever is holding him in place, distressed sounds falling from his mouth, strange noises that can't be his own. That isn't his voice, he realizes and yet it is because it comes from _his_ mouth; a mouth too small and oddly shaped, and a tail-- _why does he have a tail_?

Something is wrong with him and his body, with his mind and he still can't tell what's real and what's not.

_(Are the flames real, where does the whispering come from? Who is Cloud? He is Cloud. He thinks he is.)_

"Shhh, easy," a voice murmurs close by and he recognizes it instantly even if the name and face escape him for the moment. A _friend_ , someone safe. He's safe, there is no fire and the screaming whispers die down again as reality reasserts itself just a little bit. But everything is still wrong and _he's staring at himself_ on the man's opposite shoulder. But Cloud is too exhausted to think clearly, too worn to puzzle out how he can be looking at himself like this.

He sinks back down into the darkness to the soothing voice promising everything is okay now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sort of timeskip in this? Cloud's been drifting in and out of consciousness for a long time so between his waking last chapter and the beginning of this one he's been in and out for a while.
> 
> He's only now gaining back his awareness, just in time for them to be in the Gongaga area.

_{WEAPON SAVIOR_ _a path where everything goes wrong and the world burns time rewound and another path_

_still everything burns there is no escape circles within circles take the third road save them all and this time the world ends in ice so it rewinds again and again; many paths all of them lead to death and despair  
_

_"Shall I give you despair, Cloud?"_

_the final try, WEAPON SAVIOR end it all save them save **me**._

_(Long long ago, in a region very far away there was a tower that symbolized the relationship between people and pokemon; a great phoenix named Ho-oh perched upon the tower. And then invaders burned the tower down and three pokemon were trapped inside the inferno. Ho-oh quelled the flames with his tears, and revived the pokemon who had perished within the flames. And then he flew away, never to be seen again until the hearts of human and pokemon were once again reunited. The three pokemon sped off after the great bird, and some say they still roam the land today, looking for their savior.  
_

_Have our hearts reconnected yet?)_

_save them Cloud, for you are the phoenix reborn--}_

"Zack," he says upon waking; except that is not what comes out of his mouth. Instead it sounds more like _pika_. Cloud doesn't understand, still too far gone at the moment, and it's not until he realizes that he fits in Zack's hands that Cloud finally understands.The reason he'd been able to see his body separately all those times he'd woke up briefly between the mansion and this deserted building--it _wasn't_ his body. Not anymore.

_(Had it ever been? He thinks so--he's sure. He **remembers** it, but maybe--)_

"Hey little guy," Zack murmurs when he sees the pokemon is awake, far more alert than he's ever been. "You awake now?" Cloud ( _I'm Cloud! I know it!)_ jerks slightly, dragged out of his own head and back into reality with a slow blink; Zack grins at him, a few berries he's gotten from somewhere pushed closer to the Pikachu. The SOLDIER has managed to scrounge up food for the three of them with the ease of someone who'd grown up exploring the area, and Cloud takes one slowly.

"Pikachu are pretty common here," Zack explains, sure the creature understands what he's saying. "So I got some berries I know the wild ones like for you." The confirmation that he isn't human anymore is too much for him in that moment, and Cloud makes a soft keening noise somewhere in the back of his throat, too far gone to really be embarrassed about his weakness. Wordlessly his companion reaches out to draw him closer, rough fingers smoothing fur down gently in an attempt to comfort the tiny pokemon.

"It's alright," he murmurs, voice rumbling in his chest against Cloud's face. "We're alright. I'm Zack. I don't suppose you have a name? Specimen P isn't a name, after all."

 _Cloud_! _It's me, Cloud_ is what he wanted to say but it was useless. His mouth can't form the words, even if he had been capable of human language. Instead he slumps further against his friend and closes his eyes.

He's so tired...

"Yeah, I guess you couldn't tell me even if you did, huh?" Zack rubs his ear lightly, and Cloud melts into the kind touch hesitantly. Too many memories of rough hands, fingers poking sharply at his insides wars with the present though and eventually he peels himself away from Zack to make them stop. The SOLDIER drops his hand, sighing. "Spiky," he said quietly, eyes flicking over to the unconscious body beside them, then back to the Pikachu. "Ahhh--I'm going to call you Spiky from now on, okay?" He grins a bit, gesturing to his own forehead as he continues. "You got a bit of Cloud's hairdo going on there, even. It fits well enough."

Cloud shudders at the reminder that he has, _somehow_ , left his body and found himself in another.

_{WEAPON, savior but too weak needed strength_ _  
_

_**rebirth** _ _}_

The berries are a distraction he desperately needs, and Cloud begins cramming them into his mouth; he realizes how hungry he truly is as he swallows the first, energy zipping through him at the first bite. _Oran berries_ , he remembers abruptly. They restore health when eaten by a pokemon, he'd fed them to his team often enough when he ran out of potions-- _his team_! Frantic at the thought that he's lost his team (his _family_ , all that was left after his mother's murder--), Cloud begins rummaging through the pack Zack had dragged along.

"Pika!"

The frantic cry catches Zack's attention, and he turns in time to see Pikachu--Spiky--hugging Cloud's pokeballs to itself.

"Pika pi!"

"Woah there--" He gets zapped for his attempt to take them back, and immediately holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. They're Cloud's though and I don't think he'll like it if you mess around with his pokemon, Spiky--" He trails off as he's ignored, pokemon released from their balls; Spiky immediately launches into a string of what he can only assume is conversation, since he can't understand him. The other pokemon seem... relieved? _How weird--_

There's a cuddle pile going on when he tunes back in, and for a second Zack's worried that they've squashed the poor mouse before he realizes that no, the Pikachu is fine. (If a little bit woozy looking from Dragon's weight.) It reminds him of his own team though, and he goes to let them out as well, if only to reassure himself that they're all okay.

That night is hot and humid, but Zack can't bring himself to get out from under the pile of pokemon.


End file.
